Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Victim to Survivor to Warrior

I am not finished with my series on Sex for Survivors but, today I wanted to share my heart.

Dear Rapists,

You tried to kill me from the inside out.
Each one of you took this little girl and put her through hell and when you were done, passed me off to the next monster.
For years I lived in fear, shame, and the darkness of your shadow.
My whole life was lived groomed to appease your wicked appetites.
Beating me, tearing flesh, yelling, and bullying me, these were your handicraft.
You lived without any fear of being found out. You had me so beaten down and silenced.

It's about to change for you.

When I became a survivor you only thought you had to worry about being found out.
When I became a survivor you started hiding, and immediately cried out that I was a liar.
You only just started to comprehend the feelings of fear and insecurity.
You started throwing accusations and insults. It was never in your plan for this little girl to grow up.
You think it's bad enough I am a survivor and talking about what you did to me but, I got news for you.

I'm a warrior now and I'm coming for you.

You will be the ones having nightmares. Your hands will bleed from clenching your fists so hard your nails embed themselves in your skin. Your cold hearts will slowly start to rot alive. You are going to be afraid to hear my name. You will be the ones hurting and begging for mercy.

I will make you a deal though. I will never come to see you in person but, you will see me EVERYWHERE.
I am going to shout from the roof tops what each and everyone of you did to me.
Don't bother fearing whether or not I will tell, start figuring out what rock you're going to hide under until it's time for you to go back to hell where you came from.

If you're a rapist and you're reading this... run.


  1. The first time I read this I thought it was nice words but after a second read I see how much it reflects the path that we face. At any moment in our lives we are victims, survivors and warriors. I think that in different facets of our lives we can embody each of the three because the healing process never ends. I know right now in certain areas I am still a victim and things are raw while in others I am a survivor and even a warrior. At work I am a warrior no doubt about that. In general I am a survivor. However in intimacy and feelings about myself I now fluctuate between victim and survivor. One day I will be 100% warrior...

  2. niafolla, There are days I go between being a survivor, warrior, victim and back again. I have more days of feeling like a warrior than not. I believe it to be "normal" for rape, incest and assault victims/survivors/warriors. Good luck to you on your journey.