Saturday, June 15, 2013

Rape Culture. You brought this on yourself.

Growing up in a religious household it was taught that rape victims often bring it upon themselves. 
If you dress sexy, drink, smoke and, or have tattoos etc. Anything the uppity religious folk saw as sin was grounds for a woman to be raped or assaulted.

My own mother taught me that men were visual creatures so if they saw something that "caused them to stumble" it was the woman's (or whatever caught their attentions) fault. 

Is it any wonder it was so easy for me to blame myself for so long about my rapes?
I was only 3 the first time it happened. "I MUST have done something to cause my brother to "stumble". This was my self talk growing up. It wasn't even called rape in our house. It was called "sin".  Rape was something that happened to sluts, whores, and stupid girls that went out after dark. 
It only happened in alleyways or kidnap situations and by total strangers who were really monsters and wore ski masks.
In the house I grew up in rapists were not supposed to be fathers, brothers and uncles, but they were.

In the religious house I grew up in, rape or "sin" was the result of the victims own sin. When we (the victims) sinned and didn't repent fast enough we risked being "sinned" against or re-victimized.

It was also explained to me that women who get abortions because of a pregnancy from rape, were actually just whores looking for a way to escape the results of their "sin."

This is a taught mindset and it's dangerous.
If your goal is to raise sons and daughters who chase after purity and abstain from sex until they find the right person, this teaching is not how to accomplish that.
If you want raise a generation with less sexual immorality, abortions, std's and a gambit of other things, victim shaming is not the way to go. 
Teaching youth that partying, curiosity and asking questions only leads to more "sin" in the world, is not how we accomplish the aforementioned goals. 
 Setting up classes on "How not to get raped" are only band aides on a gaping social wound. The class needs to be "Don't rape, respect!"
The teaching needs to be, rapists won't get away with it and we will protect each other. 
Religious leaders need to teach the sheep that fearing things they can't understand is NOT faith.
If you want to be a part of a change, it is time to stop shaming and start standing with victims. 

The problem is religious people aren't likely to speak out on the subject of victim shaming.
It is high time we stop telling victims it's their fault God couldn't protect them from rape because they sinned.
 If God couldn't protect me from rape and assault then why bother begging for forgiveness?
 This thinking is twisted and not bible based.


  1. Excellent point you make about asking for forgiveness! I feel it's a great point about forgiving too! There are things that are unforgivable & putting the whole "forgive", the person who repeatedly raped me, passed me around to his friends & family & killed, tortured my pets, even making me eat my pet rabbit once, is just Wrong & only makes a person feel more to blame/shame!
    Had yet to consider this point & Yeah for you for being strong & courageous enough to speak out & point out the obvious regarding religion, which in my opinion as well as others, that religion is the absolute Source of child sexual abuse as well as every other atrocity, epidemic, etc., in this world today & will lead to our extinction unless people put down their damn bibles & fears & excuses & get a grip on Reality! Good for You!

    1. Thank you for posting kjmajick.
      I am sorry for what happened to you and how religious people failed you.
      Thank you for your encouragement!
      It is my hope to wake up the "CHURCH" to this deadly error.