Sunday, June 16, 2013

I Don't Want Your God.

Not all survivors are Christians and sadly after being victimized less and less of them are likely to become Christ followers.

It is my belief the "Church" and "Religion" has failed them.
God has been presented to them in a flawed, small minded view.
The God I learned about growing up is not the god I want.

Sorry "church", but not all pagans are the rapist bad guys, and not all "church" folk are snow white lambs. Humans are humans, faith professing or otherwise. God didn't punish me for my sins by allowing me to be raped and abused repeatedly growing up. This was not His plan for me or ANYONE else.
God sent His Son to pay for my sins. Period. 
Unfortunately (yes, I am going there), God's sacrifice of His son also pays for the sins of my abusers.
This is why forgiveness needs a whole new perspective. 
I don't have any love or warmth or anything less than hatred for my abusers. Yes, I am a Christian and I have hate in my heart. It's a sin, but guess what?... Jesus died for it!
I am not using His death and resurrection (my beliefs) as an excuse for my sin. I am saying if God is not big enough to deal with the fact that I have not healed enough to not hate my abusers at this point in my journey, then I DON'T want Him. 
A God not big enough to handle this truth is NOT the God for me.
There needs to be more conversation on what forgiveness and healing look like for survivors.

 It is my hope to wake up the "CHURCH" to this deadly error. It is a disastrous commonality amongst the religious to judge and try to rationalize things they/we can't understand. I say "WE" because I personally have been guilty in other areas of judging and trying to rationalize things I feared and did not understand. Everyone has been guilty of this on some scale or another.

I think it is time to stop pretending like we have all the answers because we have God.
We have God because we DON'T have all the answers. We trust that He does. We live in a world that is in constant war between good and evil and where each human has free will. Some choose good and some choose evil. Good will "suffer" evil and visa versa. However, those who choose good, Christian or otherwise need to stand together in this; love the victims and stop trying to rationalize the irrational evil abuser.

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