tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848359723613437454.post3219452643037190212..comments2023-05-03T04:01:16.477-07:00Comments on Rape, Religion and Reality: Sex for Survivors... Good Touch vs. Bad Touch. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14048231870949432203noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848359723613437454.post-57285118865538022992013-07-20T12:18:34.142-07:002013-07-20T12:18:34.142-07:00I dont know how that happened but apparently Wordp...I dont know how that happened but apparently Wordpress and my Google+ logged themselves in. I promise it's still me. The same person.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15965687107152164148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848359723613437454.post-79966052613203759212013-07-20T12:16:49.317-07:002013-07-20T12:16:49.317-07:00Thank you for what you've said. This is just s...Thank you for what you've said. This is just some things that have surfaced over our 5 year marriage. I've had close friends tell me he's a rapist and that he raped and sexually assaulted me, but I have been struggling to see that. Like when I told him I didn't wanna have sex and he kept pursing until I stopped saying no or when I told him no, and tried to stop him from doing oral on me, yet he did it anyways. It would take far more explanation and conversation to address the whole topic. Maybe I commented here looking for answers from an outsider who hasn't heard everything I've dealt with in the last 2 years. Maybe I think they're biased or I've said things different. Needing to know from someone on the outside sees what they see. I don't know. Thank you for listening to me anyways. And yes, i understand i gravitated to what was familiar. And I hope I learn from my past and find a man who loves and cherishes me in every aspect. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848359723613437454.post-26092323625870036162013-07-05T07:35:03.387-07:002013-07-05T07:35:03.387-07:00Kris,I am sorry and utterly horrified that your hu...Kris,I am sorry and utterly horrified that your husband would treat you in such a way. Let me assure you that you deserve so much better. I can hardly stand the thought of what you have related here. I can also assure you that your husband doesn't give a rat's behind about anything other than his own desires. While I do not like divorce, I'd have to say that I cannot see how you'd not be better off without him. Unfortunately, this individual (I refuse to refer to him as a "man"), has perpetrated horrible abuses to you and the relationship that you formerly shared. He is in a very real sense, no better than a rapist. A real man would never rape or sexually assault his bride, or anyone for that matter. Again, I'm sorry that this happened to you.<br />I want you to notice that humans are creatures of habit. I point to this because it is in the realm of possibility that you selected this person because they felt familiar. It sounds to me that he was a jerk and became progressively more of the same as time marched on. You have every right to dictate what you will and will not allow whenever and wherever you please. Please be assured in that. I only hope and pray that moving forward that you recognize who you are dealing with before you become intimate with a man again.<br />I pray and am hopeful that you find peace in your healing journey. I also hope and pray that, God willing, you are able to be found by a "real man" who can love and respect you, and keep you in a place of safety. Kris, you deserve to be respected, loved and safe from abuse and all manner of danger.<br />Please, keep the faith as this individual is not representative of men at large. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br />PJAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14134428560076085484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2848359723613437454.post-19975306387797672692013-07-04T13:28:39.816-07:002013-07-04T13:28:39.816-07:00This is great and all, but this never happened wit...This is great and all, but this never happened with my ex. We separated last november. He would touch me in a triggersome spot and when i moved his hand away, he would continue doing it. Even advance sex when I didn't want to. When I said no, which only happened maybe twice, he went and slept on the couch and told me, 'let me know when i can touch my wife again,' with an attitude. Too much to put in a comment. Let's just say, when I asked to let me be as involved in the intimacy as he was because I realized I dissociated a lot (which he never asked if i was ok), he told me no, and when i got upset, he told me that it was unfair of me to make him feel guilty for not wanting to. So he could f me (knowing I dissociated, even making me feel guilty after he finished for "not being there") but he could not touch me. In fact, he told me "he knew when i did not want it or when I wanted it to be over with, so he just tried to hurry". Told me he knew when I checked out, (were married for 4 years at that point) but never once stopped or asked me if i was ok. He kept going every time (idk how many times i dissociated), and it wasn't until i mentioned it almost 2 years ago, until he said yeah he knew.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15965687107152164148noreply@blogger.com